Eggplant was invented by Lord Alfred Eggplant in 2003, and was, like all fashionable vegetables, only available to those with an Overblown sense of entitlement. . In this enlightened modern age, however, we have transcended such oppression, and eggplant is freely available to the masses.
Traditionally, my favorite thing to do with eggplant was bread it, fry it, smother it with ricotta cheese, homemade tomato sauce, and mozzarella. Often I find myself involved in verbose detail describing what turn out to be very simple recipes on this blog. Rest assured this is exactly the opposite. Making eggplant Parmesan is a full day process, if not a two day process. That is why when I would make it, I would make enough to share with everyone I know, and set aside about a weeks worth of meals for myself.
To those of you gasping for air at the mention of real cheese, this entry is not, I repeat NOT, about Eggplant Parmesan. I was just going off on a tangent, as I tend to do, it's part of my charm. Deal with it. Although, speaking of tangents, I did buy a very tasty vegan mozzarella cheese at Whole Foods last week, just to try. It wasn't quite the real thing, but it was a totally satisfactory facsimile. It even melts. Who knew?
Some of you have probably guessed at what I want to talk about today is "Eggplant Rolls with Tapenade," and if you we're one of those people, good eye! The long introduction will be more than made of for by the brevity of the actual details. Ready?
Biz:
3 largish eggplants
Olive oil for brushing
For the tapenade:
8 oz green olives (I used green olives, you could use kalamata olives instead, honestly, the only thing I would seriously avoid would be black olives from a can.)
3 tbsp of capers, drained
2-3 cloves of garlic
A few pigs of fresh parsley, stems removed (in truth, parsley stems are not really very woody or substantial, and I don't see why you wouldn't just throw them in as well. In fact, that's exactly what I did. One of the big joys in life comes from the having the confidence to say "balls!" to the little things that don't make sense to you. I you're right, it can be strangely validating, and if you're wrong, eh, you learned the hard way, but the worst of it was a crunchy stem in the tapenade. I do not suggest taking this approach to the operation of heavy machinery, blowtorches, motor vehicles, karaoke, congressional appointment, gymnastics, or online shopping. However, indirect observation seems to indicate its a perfectly acceptable way to parent a child.)
3 tbsp olive oil
Lemon juice to taste
A splash of tabasco if you're feeling frisky
Cut the ends off the eggplant and slice it longways into 1/4" slices. If you have a kickass mandolin, that might work. If you have a mediocre one, such as I do, you will just end up with a mangled eggplant and you're better off with a steady hand and a sharp knife. If you don't have any of the above, simply ask one of your servants to do it for you and I'm sure they'll oblige. No servants? I'm out of ideas.
Brush the slices on both sides with olive oil, lightly, or else the result will be quite oily. Broil them for a few minutes on aside. The recipe, which incidentally came from Elliot's New Complete Vegetarian, suggests five minutes on a side. I am here to tell you that my broiler disagrees, and they were quite ready to be flipped around 2-3 minutes. Leave them in to long and they become too soft to work with.
To make the tapenade, get out your food processor, and either blend the olives capers and garlic, then add the rest and blend some more, or just throw caution irreverently to the wind and dump it all in there at the outset! I'm a bit of a trivial daredevil, you see.
Spread the tapenade thinly on the eggplant slices, roll them up and they're good to go. I actually made these to share with my friends at Bodymind Thai Massage, as a well-deserved snack after an afternoon of fundraising for the Polaris Project.. I can tell you this transports quite nicely in the car as well!
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Location:Madison, CT
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